..then, who is it you are pertaining to? im not going to reveal who he is, duh!!?? but i think you already have a clue, right?? i just mentioned "he"!
the moment i heard those words, or rather read those lines from his text message. i was really shocked, i didn't expect things to be this way. i was not prepared for his revelation. i was really shocked and can't even reply to his text message.. i just replied to him, "hndi q alm ang ssbihin.."
i just wake up this morning w/ a very gud mood, eventhough i just have a 5 hours of sleep. iwas busy updating my photos in my friendster, so i sleep at around 2:00 am. even if im awake, i was really lazy to get my big butt out of the bed. so i just exercise my thumb by texting my friends & meiene liebe a gudmorning and forward a lot of messages to them..sinusulit ko lang yung unli ko..hahaha. among those people whom i texted, only one person text me back.. i can't remember all of our conversation, all i remmeber is that i was convincing him to tell me something that he was supposed to share with me and my bstfriend the last time we've seen each other. he said yes, so i was excited for his reply. my phone beeps and i opened the message..
_____: "hndi na aq virgin.."
che: "utot! seryoso nman.. sbihin mo na please!!"
_____: "chikboi aq.."
che: "anu ba tlga yun?"
_____: "chikboi pde sa gurl pde sa boi.. im a bisexual, nd hnd lng aq bsta attracted physically, ngkkgs2 din aq..nka 3 boyfriend na ata aq..alam q shock ka otei lng skin kng hndi mo muna aq kausapin..pro sna help me to accept the real me."
che: *tulala, ang tgal na hndi ngreply* "hndi q alam ang ssbihin.."
..after that, i was really stuck in our bed.. a lot of things running in my mind.. a very big question...WHY?????
bakit kylangan mangyari yun??.. when did it happened??? i can't understand it, the scenario just can't sinked in my brains. i just can't process it.. he wants me to understand his situation, but i can't.. and i don't know if i will be able to.. i know im one those people whom he expects to understand his situation.. but as of the moment, i really can't.. hndi ko maintindihan yung ngyayari..hndi ko alam kung dapat ko bang sisihin yung sarili ko dahil sa ngyayari sa kanya.. yung ngyari sa amin sa past or mga nagawa ko sa kanya dati sa past.. ang hirap kasi eh, alam ko na very open na yung society natin pagdating sa ganyan mga bagay. marami na rin akong kakilala na "bi", "trans" at kung anu2 pa.. at hndi ako nahihirapan na tanggapin cla.., pero bakit ngayon..?? it's really hard for me to accept it, because he is one of the people whom i never imagined to be like that. at ang pinaka masakit pa nito, bakiy kylangan mgyari ulet ito.. yung unang revelation sa akin about this, nahirapan talaga akong tanggapin yung sitwasyon niya.. "her" situation. tas ngayon, eto naman ang isa pa.. "his" sitauation nman..hndi ko na tlga alam.,. im confused.. naguguluhan ako sa ngyayari. hndi ko alm kung panung ggwin...
i love you pa..
Godbless..
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